I think forgiveness is best illustrated (rather than explained) and here are two examples:
A — The opening scene of Les Miserables where Jean Valjean stole the Bishop’s silver cutlery (and even knocked him down, at least in the Liam Neeson movie). When the cops caught JVJ, the Bishop not only did not call for him to be punished, he even offered JVJ the candlesticks.
This is to say that the Bishop did not insert JVJ’s crime into some moral ledger — the Bishop didn’t “count” JVJ’s sin against the former prisoner — but instead did and said everything he could to spur a transformation in JVJ’s character.
B — The crazy-loving dad in Jesus’ parable (in the gospel of Luke, chapter 15) wanting only the best for the wayward son, despite the latter wanting only the father’s wealth (implying the dad can go kill himself).
The dad was waiting and hoping for the son to have a change of heart (to put it mildly) and when he saw the dude coming home there was so much joy and celebration and feasting even Jesus probably didn’t have enough words to describe it. Just like with the Bishop and JVJ, the dad did not ‘count’ the son’s sins against him i.e. the sins stopped MATTERING in a judicial sense and they became irrelevant as a factor for the future.
Reflections:
1. You know how they say you shouldn’t use “crucial” if “important” is enough? Likewise I suspect we shouldn’t use the word ‘forgive’ if what we mean is ‘ignore’. Bcos the above examples show that forgiveness involves character and action at an almost super-natural level i.e. not everyone can forgive(!).
2. Forgiveness involves an extraordinary love for the person beyond what’s expected in normal social relations
3. Forgiveness refuses to ‘factor in’ the wrong-doer’s crimes in the forgiver’s decision-making
4. Forgiveness works pro-actively for the betterment of the wrong-doer (and, by extension, the relationship involved),
5. Forgiveness possibly involves the humiliation of the one forgiving — there can be no secret ‘self-seeking glory’ in true forgiveness
Conclusion: If we were to see it truly manifested, it’ll shock the living daylight norms out of us. Hence, in Les Mis the cop chasing JVJ, Javert, totally lost the plot, no way he was able to ‘accept’ the reality of forgiveness because justice/vengeance was all he knew (same thing with the older brother in the parable).
There is almost no such thing as ‘garden-variety’ forgiveness.
