(My eulogy at the funeral of my dearest wife, Chrissie Yew — read through tears)
I was speaking to Bishop Thomas a few days ago and he told me that grief was like a wave that crashed on you suddenly. Even now, esp now, I wish I could flip a switch (“Talk first, then cry”).
Before I begin I sincerely want to thank everyone for all their messages of support, prayers and comfort. As I was telling Brian and William, over the past few days it’s been as if a huge rock was sitting on my chest. Stuck on my chest and squeezing away all my happiness and joy. The only reason I endured was because I know that throughout the past few days there were many many ppl who cared.
And I am indebted to all of you here for your presence and words of comfort.
(Now for something embarrassing)
Me and Chrissie first got together back in 2000, when I was working with E&Y and she was with the client (MNI). It was a mergers-integration project, so my colleagues were joking that there was another merger happening (haha)
I remembered our favorite bakery shop was Sun Moulin (in fact, just 2 weeks ago she in KLCC and she bought her favorite tuna puff).
I proposed to her in Victoria Station, the one next to Hock Choon (and we never went back there), one of very few times I saw her shed tears of joy.
At least two other times were when her children were born.
In 2013 my wife suffered a breakdown, occasioning the schizophrenia which would stay with her for the rest of her life. I would not be telling the truth if I said that me and my family were not also impacted. Mental health struggle is real and I’ve seen first-hand what it can do to a beautiful personality.
Nevertheless…
Chrissie’s condition did NOT stop her from being a dedicated wife and mum. It did NOT stop her from being eager to cook for us, sow for us, buy tidbits for us, enjoy the little things in life; whatever my wife’s struggles with mental health, it did NOT stop her from loving us.
My pain now in part comes from my failure to appreciate her fully beyond her struggle. And so many times I said things I shouldn’t have said, I was impatient, dismissive, uncaring.
God had given me an angelic blessing in the form of my wife; and I was too blind to see it.
(I’m not trying to punish myself here, but PSA to all caregivers: We really need to cherish and be fully patient and present to our loved ones whatever issues they may be going through)
Hold your loved ones and hug them tight.
Dearest Chrissie,
Me, Kor Kor and Mei Mei will always love you, always miss you and always cherish you.
You have been the best wife and mum to us and we will never forget your cooking, your pork-rib soup, you buying kuih-muih and chicken rice for us, your excited shopping sprees and your cute stories of unicorns, puppies and enchanted forests.
Most of all, we will always remember your warmth and your kindness and your unselfish love.
You are free now, you are free! No more fears, no more paranoia, no more pain.
In fact, your family envies you that now you are in the presence of Total and Absolute Joy.
We will see you again; we WILL see you again. I will not settle for anything less than to hold you in my arms again and sing and dance with you, and love you.
And I believe this is true because of the God you and I both believe in.
Until then, I promise you we will live our lives with joy knowing that’s what YOU would want for us.
Be at peace and never stop smiling down on us.
